Three years ago, we held the First Bereaved Mother’s day event in Uganda. To say that this was something I understood at the time, would be a lie. I, just felt that surely as bereaved mothers we needed a day to just commiserate with one another and share how we are all staying sane in this deep sea of grief and sorrow.
I wasn’t ready for what came out of this breakfast gathering, did it deter me, not at all. If anything, I wanted to create a safe space where women and couples would feel free to just be themselves without the world shoving its damn belief systems down their throats and that’s what we created at Vessel is Me. One of our goals is to increase education and raise awareness on infertility, pregnancy and infant loss in Uganda through different themed events some International others National. Our calendar begins buzzing from April till November every year. May is International Bereaved Mother’s Day, we get to join the rest of the world on the Sunday before Mother’s day, this year it will be held on 1st May,2022.
One of our new angel mums asked me,
Kecho, but am I still a MUM?
These words are not new to my ears, it’s a recurring thought for all mothers whose children have been unfairly taken from them, robbed. Being a mother means your child has to be physically present for you to nurture and care for, so what happens when this isn’t possible? Does their physical absence negate you from being a mother? Hell, NO! You’re an ANGEL MUM.
An Angel mum is a mother whose child has died. She’s still a mother, she still has a child, only she carries her baby in her heart now not in her arms. These mums are very brave and strong women. They have been forced to endure the most difficult loss of all. After I lost my mum in 2015, I thought that was the worst pain I would ever experience but in 2017 I got the wind knocked out of me, and I have never fully recovered. Please don’t let them deceive you that this is something you get over. I think we just get better at pretending to make others comfortable around us and to not alienate ourselves from society but that tag on our hearts lingers. When one needs to un-mask, stop pretending; that’s what Vessel is Me is for.
In her book, Unbroken: Finding Peace and Hope in the journey through miscarriages – Juliet Segwangyi talks about her journey dealing with recurring miscarriages in the diaspora and how her support system consisting of her loving husband and doting mother helped hold her through a season that almost took her life. It was after this point that they decided as a couple to sit pretty and wait on the Lord. Her book reads like a self-help with affirmations, daily guide and prayers at the end of each chapter. These kinds of books help mothers deal with their everyday emotional rollercoasters. She also writes to the caregivers on how to respect the couples grieving season and what to say and not say, this I think should be like the 10 commandments for supporting bereaved parents. I would definitely recommend this book to your personal libraries but also to bereaved parents, the journey gets murky and foggy; a little light never hurt anyone and that’s what one gets when they read Unbroken.
We are glad to be hosting Juliet Segwanyi during our 4th Bereaved Mother’s Day Breakfast on Sunday, 1st May, 2022 from 9am, and yes, Vessel is Me shall be selling copies of her book for UGX 40,000/= If you have a friend, sister, Aunt, Niece, workmate who has been touched by this kind of loss, make sure they attend. They will thank you later.
KeKimuri_writes 